I recently caught up with a friend, and as we were catching up, she was telling me what she had been dealing with recently. I was surprised with all she had been through. What is funny, is that at times, I feel that I don’t have any one to talk to, because I don’t want to burden people with the stress and rubbish that I am dealing with. Yes, I have them, just the same as you! Although maybe a little less than I used to.
Isn’t it funny how we do that. Of course my thoughts were totally unfounded, and I do have many friends, that I can share my life frustrations with. It is my limiting belief, that I don’t want to burden people with what I have got going on. I am not sure what my friends thoughts were, and why she didn’t share her burdens until now. But I could totally understand what she was going through.
I think we need to take the time for friendship and burden sharing, over coffee or wine or even a glass of water.
After our catch up, I felt better, not because I off loaded my stuff, because I really didn’t, but because I felt connected aaannnnd I remembered that I had friends to turn to for help if only I ask!
So my friends this is a reminder to yourselves and to myself. We are never really alone. Check in with your friends and make sure they are doing okay. And ask for help, or a chat when you need to. If your friend is not in the right space to hold your burdens currently, let them know or check in before you start. ‘I have something heavy I need to share, do you have time to hold space for me?’ I know it might sound a bit funny and of course chose your own language. These types of questions will enhance your relationships because you are asking your friend for permission and checking in with them that it is okay to unleash your burdens. I use this as a reminder because we never really know what other people have got going on in their lives. It is really showing respect not only for your friend but also yourself. If your friend doesn’t have space or capacity to hear you, at that time, check in later or find someone else. (this can either be a friend or a therapist). Or you can journal it, either writing words or using pictures. (I love using art to symbolise what is going on for me, or is a great way to do some inner work). Art Journaling is ‘da bomb!
Sometimes we can just need someone to sit with.
Please remember that if it serious you may need to check in with a counsellor, therapist or mental health physician.
